The Happiness Project

An example in what is called "stunt journalism", (Gretchen Rubin attempts an experiment and then writes about it), The Happiness Project is one woman's quest to become happier. She does this through setting different resolutions each month focusing on different aspects of her life, such as parenting, marriage, health, work, friendships etc. She tracks her progress through a series of charts and resolutions.

I think my instinctive reaction to this is fairly normal: focusing on happiness is a sure way to not be happy and it seemed selfish, self-centered, and a little desperate for book ideas.
However, don't we all search for happiness to some extent? We generally make choices because they will make us happy in some way or another. Is it so wrong then, to make this pursuit of happiness a deliberate one: with means undertaken that will provide both personal growth and make the environment around you more positive and intentional.

Although a bit more blatant and gimmicky, I think I prefer Rubin's methodology to Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat Pray Love). Rubin stays close to home; she focus on better herself in order to impact her surroundings. Her relationships are improved, her marriage gets better, she focuses more on her children and her health and energy improving can only help to maker her a better wife, mother, and friend. Gilbert on the other hand, takes a vacation from real life. She deserts her responsibilities to go stuff herself in Italy, find enlightenment (and starvation) in India, and live happily ever after in Bali. She is searching only for herself and her own self-improvement and although this might be what our modern Western society is all about, it goes against the grain of what most civilizations, societies, even modern nations are based on. Plus, who can relate? We can't all just drop everything and go wandering around the world in search of enlightenment (...she says piously from Vietnam)

I liked how she approached reading (I liked that she read the entire L.M. Montgomery canon) and I like all the charts and lists she kept.
However, I love books, I love reading methodically (like through book club list) or randomly (like having 5-10 books on the go), I love charts and lists and goals and self improvement (one of the big reasons I'll never be truly British) and resolutions. I know plenty of people who don't and therefore might struggle connecting with her methodology.

My biggest gripe with her is that she's not A.J. Jacobs. (see previous posts). When it comes to stunt journalism, he's at the top of my list. Funny, packed with interesting facts from an obvious amount of research with clear, conside and valuable points. Rubin rambles a bit and tries to bring in too many epiphanies and points and "truths" and conclusions.

The biggest thing I'll take away is the list of recommended readings. However, don't think I would put this book down on any of my recommended reading lists unless its the "Fluffy, entertaining and potentially helpful" list.

Spectrums

I'm an obsessive comparer. Or maybe its normal and everyone does it. I don't know but sometimes I annoy myself.
I know comparing is unhealthy when you are comparing yourself with everyone around you. You tend towards "negative comparison" which means that you compare yourself with people who are doing better, are more fit, seem happier, have good careers instead of with people who you percieve to be less off than you. Also, I, for one, do "bits-and-pieces" comparison. Where, I want to have this person's hair, and that person's job and that other person's friends, and someone else's degree. And then I think of myself as worse off not realizing that the person with good job might not have the good hair or the good friends...and I can't be down because I'm not a composite of everyone else's good qualities and fortune.

I also compare when adjusting to new cultures. Somehow this is my processing method. When I first got to Canada, I found myself saying "well, in Costa Rica we don't do it this way" or "oh, that's different here, in Costa Rica....." and I became so annoyed at myself! I didnt want to always bring up Costa Rica but that was my natural frame of reference and this new cultural HAD to be viewed in the perspective I'm coming from.

Travelling also brings out this constant comparison. When I go to new countries I have to place them on spectrum. Where does it fall on the First World/Third World line. Are there enough parks and coffee shops that i could live here? Do I feel as safe/safer/less safe than in Costa Rica/Canada. Etc etc.

This helps to not lump countries from a similar region together. For instance, between the Phillipines and Vietnam I'm seeing a huge difference that I never thought I would. In small things and big.

For instance, Manila seems much more poor than Ho Chih Minh. The posh areas of Makate are cloisetered away far from the squalor of the Manila proper and I feel much more on edge there. Vietnam on the other hand, seems much more relaxed and approachable. Ironically, it is Manila that is littered with Starbucks, even in the worst areas while HCMC seems to have bigger "indie" coffee shop culture. And although it was nice to order something and know what you're getting (I haven't had a decent iced latte in a long time since Costa Ricans don't seem to know the meaning) I do enjoy poking my head into little corners here and discovering charming cafes. I have learned to stipulate NO SUGAR when ordering Vietnamese iced coffee...a few mouthfuls of pure sugars taught me that.

I just forgot what point I was making. If I remember, I'll edit this. meanwhile, off to explore Saigon!

Luxury

Today 20$ got me:
- a nice long walk to a spa
- the use of a steam room, sauna, and shower
- multiple disposable underwear for the different stages of my spa date
- multiple towels, towelletts and handkerchiefs for an unknown purpose
- a luxurious 90 minute shiatsu and hot rock massage (Hot rocks massages are a little bit of heaven on earth)
- a generous tip for the masseus who climbed all over and around the table in order to get to my many travel-related accumulated knots
- a taxi ride home


I think i might give up eating and drinking and just put that money towards daily spa dates :) I've experienced very little that feels as good as a looooonnnnggg massage.