Why I Love ...
Video Games
Since
my last blog post felt a bit unfocused and rambly to me, I'm going to try
something different for a bit. I'm going to approach my next number of posts
(dunno how many) focused around the concept of 'why I love ... ' to reflect on
things that have been and are important to me. In a time where I'm focusing my
time and efforts on a development of self-discipline and the accomplishment of
a big life goal, I think reflecting on some of the things that have shaped me
would be both pertinent and constructive.
Before
I jump in to my first topic, it's time for a quick update on my novel. I've
passed the 84,000 word mark but probably should have broken 90k at this point;
it feels like I'm inching ahead discipline wise, having a couple of great
writing days and then a couple of duds over and over. I'm anticipating the
novel to end up around 150k words, meaning if I can keep a 10k words a week
pace (entirely doable) I should be finished the first draft by the end of
October. I have multiple editing/rewriting passes planned after that - one for
grammar and punctuation, one for tone and flow, one for cohesiveness and
consistency - so it won't be done
done until sometime in November. Having an actual rough date of completion is,
however, huge for me. I could actually finish this thing in the near future. The
problem is, as soon as I realized this my brain went into celebration mode and
forgot about all the work to come, and my last 2 days have been pathetic
writing wise. Oops!
This
post is going to cover 'why I love video games'. Why am I starting with this
topic? No reason really, other than it's the one I felt like talking about
today.
Video
games are super polarizing. There are some people - I know many - who view them
as at best a waste of time. Some would suggest video games rot your brain,
distract you from what is important, harm your health, and are overall the junk
food of society. Then there are some people - I know many - who would claim
that video games are the apex of quality entertainment, the fastest growing and
most important form of art, an irreplaceable source of social interconnectivity
and interaction, and a powerful tool for making us all smarter. I agree with
everyone!
I've
been playing video games basically as far back as I can remember. Early on in
life mostly with my cousin Greg, then with my friends at school, and nowadays
with people from all over the world (some who I have met in person, but many
who I have not). The challenges out there to overcome both by myself and
alongside my friends have proven too intriguing to resist, and gaming became
what has been my life's biggest hobby.
My love
of video games was cemented by my friends. I remember being an awkward, quiet
kid in middle school who had mostly made connections with other kids through
shared activities (being in the same class, liking the same sports, enjoying
wandering around pretending to be Star Wars characters, etc). At some point,
I'm not exactly sure when, the dominant shared activity became video games. The
excitement of talking about a recent heroic feat or an upcoming new title was
bonding, and it gave me a language and a reason to connect with others much
more often. As time went on new things came up as the reasons for friendships
to form, but if I'm honest I don't know if there is any singular thing I can
point to that brought me more friendships and connections than a shared love of
video games has. Many of the friendships I formed over gaming have lasted to
this day, and a number of people who will likely read this blog are among them.
Challenge.
Exploration. Discovery. Connection. These things drew me into video games right
from the very beginning and have stuck. I always enjoyed school, I loved to
learn, I read books voraciously, I hung out and played with friends whenever I
could, but there was something about video games that scratched an itch those
other things didn't. I think, more than anything, it was the combination of all
of these elements in one place that was so powerful. What books often made
obscure and hard to understand, games made vivid and obvious. What adventure
reality buried under homework and responsibility, games made accessible. What
freedom circumstances tarnished as hurts and confusion piled up around me,
games provided with no burdens or expectations. When school was too easy, games
provided challenge. When school was too hard, games provided escape. When
friends were plentiful, games provided a mutual activity to connect with. When
friends were hard to come by, games provided companionship in frequented
servers and guilds. Some people find it hard to believe, but I have made genuine
and lasting friendships through games I have played. I have helped people
through trying times and spoken into the lives of people I have never met but
through chat messages. It has been reciprocated as well; there have been
friends whose faces I have never seen that have helped me through dark days and
nights. In many ways, gaming has been like a multi-tool for me; versatile and
useful when the proper component is applied at the right time in the right way.
Another
reason gaming has stuck around as my biggest hobby for so long is that I'm
generally really good at it, and being good at what you do for fun is nice! I love learning new things and seeing
improvements in my understandings and skills; I am also naturally quite competitive.
My love of sports stems naturally from these attributes. However, for various
reasons (which I may or may not expound upon in a later blog post) sports have
been pushed into minor-hobby territory for most of my adult life. Without a lot
of sports to satisfy my competitive streak, I turned to video games. The one game that I can claim some level
of high-end accomplishment is World of Warcraft. After many years of casually
playing I started to take my play more seriously and joined a competitive team. At the beginning my goal was to
prove that I could play at a competent enough level to keep up with the team,
who were at that time among the top 400 teams in North America. Within a month,
I was competing for the top position in the team. Some nights I played well
enough to rank in the top 50 players of my class in North America, and a few
times I managed top 10. Eventually I had to make a choice: double or triple my
time investment and turn what was still a hobby into a veritable part-time job to move up to the next tier or be satisfied with my accomplishments.
I chose to be satisfied. Sometimes I look back and wonder if I
would have made it to the top; part of my is confident I would have. To this
day I still raid from time to time, never more than a few times a week. I still
feel the temptation to push myself to the top again, but there are too many
other things going on to give that much time to it.
All in
all, when I think about what I have done that has pushed my skills past their
limits to new heights, raiding is what comes to mind. I have friends who have
found a lot of success in music and sports. When people look at what they
accomplished it is easy for them to see what their efforts and talents have
wrought. Yet most people will never recognize what I was able to accomplish
because it was in a video game. There is a side to being a gamer that is
difficult to overcome; the stigma attached to it. Video games aren't as healthy
as sports are, not as presentable as music or dance, not as tangible as chess.
They lack tradition because they are so new. And yet they contain almost all of
the elements that make sports, music, and other classic games so interesting,
and what makes performing them skillfully have value. I have
found value in what I have been able to accomplish in my raiding. Knowledge
that I can push my limits. Confidence in being able to accomplish something I
once thought would be impossible. Discipline in the repetition and failures
involved in making it to the top (or close to the top, in my case). I even
learned a lot about leadership and teamwork by being a part of a group of 20
people pushing for the same goal over many months. A treasure trove of valuable
lessons that are hidden away from people's perceptions because they view them
as 'just a video game'. Fortunately, that does not lessen the personal value
they have to me.
With all
of this said, I am well aware that gaming can be a vice. I have not been free
of that side of it. There have been times where I can look back and say I have
been addicted to gaming, where I used it as an escape from life for too long. There
have been times where my desire to accomplish a goal or attain an achievement
in a game have cost me health and wellness, usually due to me not sleeping
enough. There have been people I have hurt by prioritizing a game over them. More
often than I'd like to admit I've spent time playing that I should have spent
working towards certain things. Sometimes there can be a fine line between
using gaming as a way to relax and have some fun and using it as a way to avoid
responsibilities or procrastinate. Even this week, there are times where I
meant to write or clean or message someone I haven't talked to for a while and
then, instead, I spent a bunch of extra time gaming instead simply because it was
a lot more fun.
Video
games are polarizing, and one of the best examples of that is within my own
self! I understand their value; they have enriched my life in many ways, helped
me through tough times, inspired me, driven me to push my limits, connected me
with others, and entertained me more than almost any other form of media or
art. I also understand their vices; they have distracted me from my goals and intentions
over and over, harmed my health, and have whisked away months worth of time with little tangible to show for it. At this point in time I'm working through figuring out the place video
games have in my life. I no longer need to rely on them for escape or
relaxation; I have many other - oftentimes healthier - ways of meeting those
needs. I no longer need to rely on the community I find in them for my
socialization, although I still have valued friends I spend time with online. I
no longer have the excuse 'I have nothing better to do' to justify my
playtimes, although I still derive huge amounts of enjoyment out of playing. I
don't even need them as an outlet for my competitiveness or drive to improve;
writing is proving more than enough of a battle in that arena.
Some
people's idea of a perfect holiday is lounging on the beach, drinking Pina
Colada's and letting the sound of the waves soothe their troubles away. Other
people might instead prefer excitement and challenge, maybe by heading up to
the slopes or into the woods. Others yet might prefer just a chunk of
unadulterated time with family or friends, caring less about the activities
than about spending time together. Each of those things sounds great from time
to time, but my quietly-held-secret of a perfect holiday is holing up for a bunch
of days in a comfy place with yummy food and losing myself in my favorite
virtual worlds without any worries of responsibilities being shirked or people
being forgotten. Some people who know I like to do this simply can't
understand; to them it looks like an absurd waste of time and opportunity. But
some people do understand, a group that luckily includes my wife. She is great
at making sure my forays into virtual reality don't stretch on to unhealthy
lengths, and has come to learn the value and fun I find in them.
So why
do I love video games? Lots of reasons! Should I love video games less?
Sometimes, definitely. They can become a vice for me, but the trajectory of my
habits and choices points towards me getting better at that all the time. Am I
going to stop playing video games? I have no plans to, although I think I
should tone back how much time I invest in them and use those hours for, say,
writing novels! Would I be better off without them? Some days, yes. But there
have been many days that I think they have given me something valuable, whether
that be a challenge, a lesson, a friend, a distraction, or even just a bit of
fun to make my life a little bit better.
Next
post: Why I love literature.
PS: I may
have hurt some family members feelings a couple of posts back by not including
them in my recollections of what I had been doing. So just to be safe, I just
want to say I've had a wonderful time getting to know all of the following
family members better since I came to Costa Rica: Venus, Annie, Burt, Arlene,
Calisha, Danica, Evan, Florence, Walter, Gladys, John, Aidan, Sion-Ed, Kai,
Eldon, Kenia, Karelia, Donovan, Karina, Daniel, Sam, Jared, Tyler, and Lani. Hopefully
there aren't any family members I missed ... nope, I think that list was pretty
exhaustive!
